Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Blog Tour and Giveaway: Love in the RV Park: A Romance for Men by Jeffrey Ross


THE AUTHOR WILL BE GIVING AWAY:  

Jeffrey will be awarding a $25 BN GC to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour. Leave a comment to enter!


Title: Love in the RV Park: A Romance for Men by Jeffrey Ross
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Publication Date: August 30, 2013
Length: 118 pages

Blurb:
This quirky and fast moving romance revolves around passionate lovers in tangled and mostly unfulfilling relationships. The tale is complete with hot housewives, rock musicians, exotic dancers, motorcycles, steamy nail polish-melting love scenes, hard drinking college professors, hybrid alien children, a romantic bug exterminator, girl fights, a New Year’s Eve brawl, religious zealotry, prophecies (The Temple of Just DOET) —and more. Ultimately, Love in the RV Park is about the male perception [misperception?] of the female psyche.—and the novel attempts to answer an age-old question: What do women want? Laugh or cry—you’ll come away enlightened after reading this zany romance.

Purchase Link: AmazonRogue Phoenix Press Print and E book , B & N NookSmashwords
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Excerpt 3: 

Johnny Roz
Retired English Teacher

Johnny was a capable and careful man who kept a clean apartment. He wasn’t hooked up to cable, or dish TV, but he occasionally watched network events on the seven inch screen antenna-driven handheld model he bought at Sticky Mart for forty bucks. Johnny had never been married. He often wondered about the life he lived, and realized financial security provided little in the way of emotional comfort.

Johnny had always been fascinated by women, but had realized few “connections” with them. He had maintained female friends at work, but not many.

Women, to Johnny, seemed to represent some kind of problem—a beautiful yet complicated problem.

A bit of a rhetorician, he often spent his days contemplating, analyzing, and critically reviewing the following question relating to human behavior: What do women want? Ah, Johnny knew Chaucer had an answer, Jerry Springer was curious, Virginia Woolf had a speculative idea or thirty, and Hollywood had churned out their notions in millions of senses-numbing bad movies, but he himself was at a total loss.

John was having a series of dreams lately—those kinds you have in the moments before you wake up—which were totally depressing him. In the dreams, the formula, the plot line, was nearly always the same. To wit: Julia, an attractive and unhappily-married housewife from down the street, knocks on his door. He opens the door to see her, smiling, holding a measuring cup in her left hand. In each of the dreams, she has asked for something different—sometimes sugar, sometimes milk, sometimes cream, sometimes salsa, sometimes peanut oil. Once she even asked for cloves of garlic. He invites her into the front room, takes the cup, and finds the spice or ingredient she needs back in the kitchen. When he returns to the darkening room, she is always sitting on the couch, twirling a strand of auburn hair with one hand, and, with the other, patting the couch, signaling him to sit down next to her, next to her shapely form.

Her lips are pouty and beyond energized. She breathes heavily, with poignant and powerful desire. Her legs cross and uncross rhythmically. Um. Can you feel the heat? Johnny always places the cup on his beat-up old coffee table and looks into Julia’s clear eyes—crystal pools of composure and need.

She puts her arms around him and nuzzles his chicken-skin wrinkly neck, and then she snuggles into Johnny. Now her lips are moist and panting. The old guy reaches out and hugs her, feels her curves, and is overwhelmed by a gloaming sense of comfort, love, connection. Her breath is sweet, her hands are satin, and the moment is warm and complete.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:

Adina Falling
Jeffrey Ross, who resides in Arizona, is a writer, rockabilly musician, and former full-time community college teacher. He has had four "Views" pieces published on InsidehigherEd.com, has authored and co-authored several national and international op-ed articles on community college identity, purpose, and culture, and has recently published numerous parody poems and articles on the Cronk Newshigher education satire website. Ross co-authored the comic and critically acclaimed campus novel College Leadership Crisis: The Philip Dolly Affair (Rogue Phoenix Press, 2011).

Social Media: Twitter, Tumblr, FacebookBlog Open Salong
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Giveaway:

Jeffrey will be awarding a $25 BN GC to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour.

You should follow the tour and comment. The more you comment, the better your chances of winning! The tour dates and stops can be found here: http://goddessfishpromotions.blogspot.com/

20 comments:

  1. Sticky Mart is such a great name for a store.

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  2. Replies
    1. Professor Ross, Thanks for sharing your gifts with the low and lonely.

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  3. Thanks so much for sharing! I love quirky reads so this sounds like one I'd definitely be into!
    andralynn7 AT gmail DOT com

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  4. Ross, is this RV Park love book anything like your other book, The Philip Dolly Affair? You gave the community colleges a pretty sound beating in that one. Hah. So many of the things you predicted back in 2011 have come to pass. I never knew higher education was so corrupt. But it was funnier than h---!



    PS—RV Park has the hottest d---- cover I’ve ever seen. Wow! Who did the art work?



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  5. Prof. Ross-- I read a little bit of this book—and I noticed many of your male characters seem very frustrated—they can’t seem to “make it “with the ladies no matter how hard they try. And that one character, Frank, lives in some kind of delusional world—he acts like every store clerk he meets is interested in him. Does a man think, that just because a woman is nice to him at the cash registrar, she is interested in him? What kind of book is a Romance for Men supposed to be, anyway. And just who is this red hot and always mysterious Julia who keeps showing up in your books and poems?

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    Replies
    1. Good afternoon Glenna- to your query about Frank and men who think every friendly woman is showing an interest. My answer is Yes, I believe men do think that way.
      Ah, Julia is a waking dream, charismatic, untouchable, wise, curvy, generous, beautiful, intelligent--Ah!

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  6. I don’t know about that alien stuff in your new book, but I’ll have to say one thing—I appreciate the fact that you have several characters who may not be romance cover beautiful but are still romantic, sexy and loving. I commend you for making average Joes and Josephines red-hot lovers. I love that 450 pound gal, Starr, who “revs up” her boyfriend like a nitro methane dragster and shakes the park model. I hope you keep writing these funny books—I don’t really like your parody poems or higher education satire that much. You are too tough on the people who work so hard at our colleges….



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    Replies
    1. Hi Rene-- I can assure you that movie star looks do not always equate with hot romance. I really enjoy characterizing individuals whose powerful romantic feelings for each other transcend body shape or income levels. Remember the Love Boat? Sorry you don't like my higher ed satire. If only higher education could take itself less seriously sometimes. I mean really, how many meetings about Mission Statements and Reorganization do we need? Besides, the people want jobs, not philosophy. Hope you have a great Strategically Planned Day! Thanks for commenting on the tour....

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    2. PS-- I believe Rene was referring to my co-authored novel (with Dr. Jann M. Contento), College Leadership Crisis-the Philip Dolly Affair-- or my parody poetry and fake journalism on the Cronk News website. thex.

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  7. Great excerpt! Thanks for sharing it and the giveaway. Sounds like a great book. evamillien at gmail dot com

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  8. "Sounds like a great book", Come on ladies! This is a romance for men. How many such topics have been covered through the romance genre? Ross is attempting to break through the male stereotypical views on women. I have heard that "women dress for women", and "men dress for comfort". To Author Ross: Is Ross trying to make a point of this in this book?

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    Replies
    1. Thanks to all of your comments. Jamie-- I hope that I have portrayed what men "consider" to be romantic-- or fetching-- or hot-- tight jeans, perfume, exotic pole dancers, painted toe nails, enhanced bosoms, and complete and eternal female adoration--yes these are all part of my text. But I am also working on the "outcomes" of romantic relationships which are fabricated on unsustainable impulses-- many couples in this book find lasting, hot romance, because they know who and what they are.... I've always wondered about that notion that women dress for other women. Any thoughts out there?

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    2. Of course we dress for other women, we ARE a competitive breed you know. Within the animal kingdom, most often, the female species is innately less attractive than the male. We therefore place an emphasis on "other" aspects of attractiveness by exploiting voice, bark, and bosoms. ACH!

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  9. I think Johnny should get himself a guitar and practice every day... Then everything will be alright. And Julia will come out of his dreams and into his life. Maybe talk to Bob Z. He might have a gig or two for him.
    --T.G.P.

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  10. Interesting premise

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

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  11. Sorry for the late post. I’m playing catch-up here so I’m just popping in to say HI and sorry I missed visiting with you on party day! Hope you all had a good time!
    kareninnc at gmail dot com

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  12. Thanks for the chance to win!
    Sounds like a great read!!
    natasha_donohoo_8 at hotmail dot com

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